The Story So Far

I sat down tonight to write about a book I had recently read.  Its an amazing story of resilience, survival and the strength of the human spirit. This book left me feeling inspired and I wanted to write about the effect that this book has had on me.  "Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand is a must read, but I find myself unable to write about it.  I am having one of those nights where my mind is wandering from thought to thought, never lingering for more than a moment on any single one.  It is similar to those moments where you are laying in bed before sleep finally takes you.....

Throughout the past week there have been several topics I wished to explore in writing and the intent to set aside time for it was there. But each night I would come home from work and a different distraction would keep me from ever logging on, the Yankees or my regular workouts are frequent offenders.  Tonight was a scheduled off day from my exercise routine and the Yankees are destroying Oakland so that game has grown boring.  So I decided to fire up the laptop and get some writing done.  Its approaching 11 o'clock at night so hoping for a cooler atmosphere I headed out to the back porch to type away and enjoy the evening.  Perfect setting.  However this heat wave is relentless and its still 90 degrees out so I have retreated to my room downstairs in the comfortably cool basement.  And in the process my train of thought, so precarious on nights such as this, has been shot.  I find myself going back over the week I have had.  "Unbroken" has faded away and so have all those other ideas. 

Have you ever had one of those "Oh damn" moments where you realize that you have finally accomplished something?  Your finally over that girl who broke your heart.  Perhaps you finally earned the respect of a coach or admired peer.  Maybe you finally made your Dad proud.  Finally appreciating that your not in high school/college anymore.  Whatever it is, its a moment of appreciation.  Taking a look at where you are and how you have changed from where you were at point A and where you find yourself now at point B. 

I remember one of my first "Oh damn" moments was going back to visit my 5th grade teacher Mr Strauss for the first time.  I was a freshman in High School at the time and I had not been back to my elementary school since I had graduated four years earlier.  Walking in the school everything seemed so much different.... and small.  The desks, the water fountain, the kids running around the halls. It seemed like I had come so far.

There have been many other times.  They often occur when visiting places from your past.  For me I have been feeling it at work lately.  When I first started I didn't care about my job at all, it was just something to hold me over until I could find something better.  I was kind of an asshole, loud and obnoxious.  I was lazy and unproductive a lot of the time.  My first year I almost quit twice and nearly got fired at one point.  Now I am a leader, trying to get the most out of those around me.  Doing my best to encourage and motivate everyone around me.  A drastic change from my begining five years ago. 

I am surrounded by little reminders of my past and measurements of my progression in life.  On my desk across the room from me is my original name badge from Sam's Club.  Hanging next to it are my dog tags from when I was in the Marines and my grandfathers tags he wore in the Army during World War Two.  A collage of photos hangs in a corner spanning the past ten years of my life.  A collection of books I have been accumulating my whole lifee fills a case in the corner.  All sorts of memorabilia of my life fill this room but these are just little monuments to the past. 

Those little "Oh damn" moments of revelation are more like the ending of a chapter in the ongoing story of my life.  Life is unpredictable.  I sat down to write this blog entry tonight on a great book I read, and ended up talking about Mr Strauss and my book case.  The story of my life has been just as unpredictable at times, but its been a great one so far. One more chapter has come to an end this past week but I am excited for the begining of the next.